Go Shawty. It's SHERBET day.

Here's are some puns for your Friday. A good way to end the week.

"Hey man you're pretty cool."

"Can I borrow some money?"

"Dude, it's a green light!"

I hope you enjoyed those puns because I did. Puns are the BOMB DOT COM dawg diggity. 

Have a good Friday :)

♚ Cindy

We all know someone: Backseat driving

I'm starting this series called "We all know someone" which should be a self explanatory title. We all know someone who backseat drives, whether this is your parents or your friend, or a random stranger you picked up on the street, these people are extremely annoying.

And if this is you.

Don't do it.

Because in all honesty, backseat driving is distracting. I rather concentrate on the road than your shitty advice. So, thanks. But no thanks.

Cheers and have a good weekend!

♚ Yushi

Chronicles of Cindy the Dubu (Tofu)

Hi there, lemme introduce myself again. I'm Cindy, from Toronto Canada. This June 24th, I'm turning 20 and not excited to do so. And I'm soft as marshmallow.

I have this condition that I like to call (I made it up) Everlasting Baby Fat Syndrome-- it's very serious. The symptoms include:

• marshmallow consistency on every part of my body
• lack of/non existent muscles 
• inability to gain substantial muscle
• a little jiggle of the entire body when I walk

I repeat: it's all very serious.

I didn't notice that I had this condition until grade 6 when my friend felt my arm and suddenly, as if possessed, screamed "Eureka!" (I made this part up too) From then on, to today, my nickname became "Squishy".

Comparisons of the symptoms caused by this condition (extreme softness) have been drawn to the consistency of a boob, water, and most recently, tofu. If I shorten the comparisons then I become the sentient tofu boob made of water.

Previously, in my early days being Squishy, I denied my identity and rejected the idea of being soft. I was insecure and unsettled by the idea of being soft forever. I was afraid of being fat and unfit although I was often reassured that I'm made of water and not that other substance. However, as I grew and matured into an adult, I've realized that this squishy-ness is a blessing and not a curse.

Here are a couple reasons why: 

Most importantly however, 

I provide and endless source of entertainment for other people. As you can see, I'm very amused: 

That girl in the yellow is Yushi. 

I honestly think I'll miss the squish when I get my rock hard muscles (from Ebay) after a summer of working out :')

♚ Cindy

Frugality is our middle name

So here we are... us trying to be frugal. Frugality is our mantra and we will chant it any chance we get. AKA I just dropped way too much money on my tattoo, and I'm too poor to even buy a tshirt. So I will chant this MANTRA. 

Saving money is difficult. I finally realize this. How do all you guys do it? I actually can't stop...buying useless shit. I really do need that tshirt though. Really need it. Really.

Yeah, I should really clean up these sketches, but hey, there's beauty to raw things right?? That's a saying right?

I actually really like shopping with Cindy, we don't really browse, we just scan, and it's as if we have x-ray vision, we can finish scanning the whole store in like five minutes. We can see through all those Forever 21 mountains of clothing and we can be done with the store in five minutes. You try that. But in all seriousness, doesn't Forever 21 have way too much inventory?! I always get a headache when I'm in that store. My kind of store is those where they only have like three pieces of clothing and they come in three sizes, and that's all in their inventory. Makes shopping so much easier no? 

Have a good weekend everyone! 

♚ Yushi

What it means to be: A university student - in the summer ☼

Contrary to what this post may lead you to believe, I actually don't lounge around in the summer, I don't really have time to and I'm so tired when I come home from that I just want to die a little bit. If I do lounge around, it's to watch netflix on my tv, and Gone Girl is on it right now, and that movie is just so good, so good. 

But if you are a university student in the summer, you might feel these things:

▽ In which if you're lounging at home, your parents tells your lazy ass to go outside and do something

▽ In which your mom believes that you should be learning or studying something during the summer in preparation for next year...(like wtf, seriously wtf, what is there to study???)

▽ In which days are spent sleeping till 1pm

▽ In which you feel restless

▽ In which summers are 4 months long, which means, they are extremely long, and there is too much time on your hands

▽ In which your sleeping schedule is completely messed up

▽ In which there is so much struggle to meet up with friends - so much struggle

▽ In which all your friends are on different parts of the world

Cheers, and have a good weekend!

♚ Yushi

What it means to be: Tuhao

This is a continuation from What it means to be: poor, since I had one person asking me what the word meant, I thought I might as well explain it.

Tuhao: a word that I adapted into the English language and that I drop often in daily conversations with my friend Cindy.
Origin: China

We use it to describe someone that is:

▽ Extremely rich

▽ Extremely extremely rich from China

▽ So like some newly rich Chinese kid, so newly rich, that the red RMBs he has are probably hot off the press

▽ So rich that they probably have private yachts and some secret offshore accounts in Switzerland

▽ Yet, despite the fact that they are so darn rich, we still associate them with like…country bumpkins

▽ So…very tacky

Man, tuhaos are awesome, and I wish they can just upgrade their style, so that they aren't only wearing brightly colored Uggs and those nice Burberry trench coats, with their MCM backpack and a HBA sweater, and a Boy London cap, all in one outfit, ONE OUTFIT.

We get it. You are ballin. SO BALLIN. Please buy a personal stylist, thank you.

ALSO - if you still haven't gotten the memo, tuhao is just the Chinese equivalent of ballin, but like a lot tackier. We still love them though. They make our world go round.

♚ Yushi

What it means to be: Poor

I'm sure we've all been through this situation (unless you're super tuhao - if you want to know the meaning of super tuhao, please message me, and I will elaborate). (Also, if you are super tuhao, why are you reading this blog????? go be tuhao please.)

♚ Yushi

Yushi's Guide to Life: Shutting people down

This type of situation happens to me daily, when people don't understand something or they themselves have never tried it, but they still end up hating me for liking something they might not possibly like. In this case, ever since I listened to Korean music, I have people questioning my tastes and asking why this and why that. Or maybe, I'm dressing a certain way, and I have people questioning what I'm wearing, and they just hate on me for it. It seems like I can do no right in this world, and I'm constantly offending someone. 

So, I guess I can tell all those people, "hey, no one cares about your opinion, so why don't you STFU and rain on someone else's parade".

People seriously need to chill, and stop thinking that I care about their opinions about my too bright lipstick, 'cause guess what. I don't. 

♚ Yushi

Cindy's Guide to Life: Comebacks

♚ Cindy

The Quarter Life Crisis

The quarter life crisis is the realization that you are 2 years into "adulthood" and you have no idea where this adulthood starts or where it leads to. Without a starting point, nor a finish line, how do you know where to go and how to get there?? At 20, I don't know what I want to do with my life aside from living comfortably and not being miserable at a sad desolate cubical for the rest of my life.

 

The impact that it has and why it's important is because it is a personalized blackhole of sadness that exists not that far from your own happy universe waiting for every moment of vulnerability to strike.

Whenever you left your guard down, that black hole's gravitational pull of destruction comes at you and gets you. My quarter life crisis' favourite time to be active is around 1am which is (coincidentally) the time I'm writing this post.

I used to think that the best way to handle the black hole is to let it run it's course, or use it's destructive energy to motivate myself to do better in a really zen TaiChi kind of way. I learned this from Naruto to redirect the flow of Chi in to better outputs.

But as I go through the years using this... Powerful method, it's starting to lose it's effect on me, the same way drugs lose its effect after a continued, habitual use. In a certain perspective, the motivational capabilities of "failure" is kind of similar to drugs: temporary, powerful, and addictive.

So I'm trying to find a more sustainable method of being motivated and focussed which is why I'm trying to invest myself into everything this summer: job, fitness, happiness... In order to find myself.

This is getting really cheesy, so here:

♚ Cindy

Questionable?? Asian fashion choices

I am Chinese, and this means, supposedly I should be able to shop for up to six or seven hours on stilettos that can probably kill a person due to how pointy it is. I need that level of tenacity. I need to train myself to wear heels for hours on end, since I'm failing miserably at it now, and I just choose to wear trainers all day every day.

And supposedly, as a Chinese person, I do not understand the concept of winter or snow or hail or rain since I will be wearing skirts and short shorts even when it's negative 20 degrees.

This also means I like outfits with bright colors - extremely bright colors, on things that shouldn't be brightly colored…like Uggs. So obviously the words 'monochrome chic' does not exist in China when everyone is trying to dress up as the brightest lightbulb in the room, or you know, a Christmas tree.

I also like my accessories extremely bright and pink too, that is, my MCM backpack.

All kidding aside, I am maybe allergic to color, as my wardrobe in the winter consists of black, and maybe muted creams or whites, but mostly black. In the summer, I dress more lightly colored, just to enjoy some of that summer spirit and not be a grumpy old hag all the time.

The thing is, I like color. I like color a lot, but it is extremely hard to wear color without blinding everyone that comes into your way or to wear color without looking like an overgrown fruitcake.

I would think that I need to eat some courage pills if I ever had to wear bright blue Uggs with a pink sweater and a pink MCM back and maybe that pink quilted Chanel bag.

That brings to me another point - brands. Why is it that as long as something is branded (YSL, or Gucci, or LV, or Chanel), then it is automatically stylish and fashionable? It's not. Also can I say that that big luxury logo on your leather bag? Tacky. Tacky as hell. Well…unless you can work it, in some way that's not mildly insulting to the rest of the public.

I never understood big logos on shirts, or bags, or anywhere, it just screams 'loud' and 'notice me', and I've always been a little bit more on the understated side.

Despite how much I dislike some fashion choices that people make, there are some people who can work everything I've said previously extremely well, wearing those Play: Comme des Garcons shirts and those BAPE hoodies that would put everything I've previously sad to shame. It's all on how someone styles something and what message they wish to convey through their clothes.

So, wear what you love, love what you wear, and if you like color, then wear the hell out of it. Be comfortable with the color you wear, even if you do look like a traffic light. I've told myself numerous times to branch out and dive into color, but it's all about the baby steps, you never know, maybe one day I'll step out looking like a fruit cake, and I'll love it.

 ♚ Yushi

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3 Reasons why I hate summer

There are a couple things that I hate in the world marginally less than slow walkers on the sidewalk and a little bit more than war and world hunger: bugs, eyeliner smudges, and the sun (not in that order ofc). To my dismay, those things all occur during summer.

The sun: 
Ahhh yes, the sun -- my oldest enemy. Besides stairs and physical activity, I can count the sun as my worst nemesis. What other object in the world drains my energy like kryptonite so effectively since it's really unavoidable unless you stay indoors??? Only the sun can achieve such an impact on my body. I become the walking dead (show reference to be noted) and roam the streets, stumbling on things more often than what is deemed regular because I can't see. Nothing can stop the sun from coming into my eyes and causing them to water. Want to be attractive in summer??? That's impossible when I'm constantly in a daze with my eyes closed as I walk down the streets.
It also doesn't help that I sweat like the condensed 300lb man that I am. Thank the gods that I don't smell or else it would be a disaster.
To make things worse, I don't know if people can relate, but because of my hair colour, it absorbs heat like it's nobody's business. It's so crazy that I think you can probably fry something on my head.
I'm considering going blonde.

Makeup: 

As a follow up to heat and sweating, my makeup melts off during the day. It's disgusting and I'm probably the only one that experiences this since every LA blogger looks perfect all the time even at Coachella, being outdoors the entire day. It's probably just me and my weird pores that somehow secrete more oil when it's covered. Especially with eyeliner, it doesn't matter how waterproof it is, it's going to smudge. Mascara does too since my eyelashes point downwards... 

UGH. 

And I'm too lazy for touch ups throughout the day, so what ends up happening is I turn from normal basic girl to the grudge.

Maybe I should abandon the lost cause of trying to look presentable and embrace the natural look with an edgy twist -- by actually going barefaced. 

The bugs: 

Okay, I take back my statement about the sun being my worst enemy.

Bugs.

Bugs are the worst. Why do they exist, and in swarms??? Me being the uncoordinated and unequipped with reflexes person that I am, can't dodge gnat swarms when I see them too late, so I get a face full of them every time I go out past 6pm. Sometimes if I'm not careful, I get them in my eyes too. The struggle is so real. 

But the bug issue doesn't end there. There are also mosquitoes, the bane of my existence. Vampires in a smaller more deadly and annoying form. Instead of being shiny and angsty, these blood suckers leave you with gigantic splotches of itchiness and agony. 

I need to get a hazmat suit to get away from these disgusting spawn of satan. 

Not to mention there's also the need to wear shoes that are open toed. Flipflops and sandals are disgusting because your feet are exposed to the dust and dirt of the world.
Also the birds that chirp at 7am in the morning, way before my bedtime. 
Did I talk about the humidity yet??? You can practically drown in the morning moisture.

Why is summer still a thing??

I am a firm supporter of the Ice Age 2-- the movie was hilarious. 

♚ Cindy

Like us on FB @ yuandcee

Cindy's summer dream: The Porn Star Body

So I wanted to elaborate on my summer goal of the "porn star body" and why I wanted to achieve it since it seems so explicit and every time I mention it, people look at me weirdly. In my opinion, the porn star body is the new model body. Before, I think the ideal cover girl, unrealistic, physical standards for women where thigh gaps and ribs... but now, the ideal body type is boobs and ass. 

Not just any boobs, but perky, perfectly shaped "natural" boobs, and squishy, round, bouncy ass. That's the standard, and I'm down with it because it gives something to work towards :') 

Especially since ass can be developed by squats-- well, that's my hope anyways.

That's the benefit and merit of the "porn star body". Unbeknownst to the general public, the adult film stars featured in those risqué videos work hard at the gym for that sculpted body and when you see it in action, it's unphotoshopped. So in a way, that's the most natural body ideal. (read: I'm ignoring the surgical enhancements that some.. not all, choose to buy). 

Yushi doesn't agree. Her ideal body type is the flat as a board and curved like a square look. I think this is the symptom of the "grass is always greener" mentality. Because I am living that body type and I can tell you that not having curves is a PAIN. 

The picture is censored because the internet does not allow child pornography and thus my body, which resembles that of a 12 year old boy, must be hidden from the innocent internet community.

My boyfriend can vouch. 

"You're a boy." Jason, W., 2015

With this body of mine: lack of boobs, no hips, unusually wide shoulders for my body, no waist, disproportionately large thighs-- it makes for difficult clothes shopping. For example:

Problem 1: 
There's a large gap between the waist of my pants and my body despite the legs fitting.
Why is this? 
Because no hips.

Problem 2: 
My shorts ride up on my when I walk no matter how well they fit.
Why is this?
Because no ass.

Problem 3: 
I can't ride bicycles or sit on hard chairs too long because:
a. It hurts and,
b. It makes one side of my body numb
Why is this?
Because no ass.

This is just a small sample of my first world, prepubescent body struggles.

So together, let us pray for my transcendence into the realm of curves so that there's "one less boyish boy."  (J.B 2010)

♚ Cindy

Things that need to be banned in 2015

In lieu of being the beginning of 2015, and Yushi said I can't do an year end review, here's a list of things that I want banned in 2015:

• Man buns that are way too tiny
• The opinion that "as long as it's cool, then it'll look cool on me" mentality (case in point the way too small man bun)
• AKA bandwagon-ing 
• Kylie Jenner's lips
• KimYe and their family
• Bold lips, hair, style, face, eyebrows, necklace, shoes, choices
• Republicans
• Democrats that act like Republicans
• Miley Cyrus (I think she's cool)
• Our obsession with celebrities and socialites
• The word "fleek". It's catchy, but so's herpes
• Complaining about things because complaints are annoying

But last but not least:

Yushi's list:  
"I want haters like Cindy to be banned. Because all they do is hate and don't appreciate"

♚ Cindy & Yushi