This is a Furious 7 review brought to you by Cindy and her opinions.
TL;DR:
Don't watch this movie if you don't like to have a good time.
Let's get this started.
I watched Furious 7 in theatres in Imax, the day before it was supposed to come out (April 3rd) which was weird, because I thought the premier date is the date in which the first showing happens. I guess it's more of a suggestion. I'm going to break down this movie into 3 parts: plots, likes, and dislikes. I'll probably throw in a rant here and there for my own venting purposes. Let me just note that I am in no way being satirical.
PLOT:
The movie is set in the timeline after the events of Tokyo Drift and Hong's death. I never quite understood why the producer/director/decision makers decided to make that choice for going back in time... Whatever maybe it was contractual obligations to Hong??? Because they're making all of their viewers go "huh?". Let's be real. You don't want to think when going into these movies.
Anyways. Jason Statham is the bad guy in this film to give Furious 7 the more testosterone it needs to become a REAL action movie/s. His character is the brother of the bad guy in the last movie, which Dominic Toretto's team put in the hospital, so now big brother is out for revenge. Jason Statham's character kills Hong, and now Dominic Toretto and his team is out for revenge. The way for them to have their ultimate, city destroying show down is through obtaining the software called Heaven's Eye.
That's basically the gist of what happens. Yeah there are some other things, but…
Likes:
To put it simply, I liked everything. Anti Fast and Furious -ers willpoint out all the flaws of FF and say that it's "IMPOSSIBLE". Well, do you go and point at Harry Potter and tell me that's impossible too? Oh yeah that car can't fly cause physics. IF you wanted the real world show, then just go outside and sit on your porch and just enjoy the world. But me, like many movie goers are there for the experience and adrenaline that you can't quite get anywhere else. I'm living the life of Dominc Toretto through the big screen, driving ridiculous cars, flying between buildings, being invincible... Everything about FF makes you want to crave that kind of excitement. Their extravagant yet grounded lives that are bound by family values are presented every second through out the movie by Vin Diesel's tough man drawl. The music and the scene cuts of scantily dressed women describe the perfect Cancun frat party but the occasion is so much more. They're gathered there to celebrate "expert driving" and genius engineering. There's an art to the world of racecars. Perhaps FF is a parody of that F1 world, but that doesn't mean it's an invalid art form in itself. Also, the people who point on that this movie doesn't follow physics or there are too many gears or "why are there never any cars on the roads?" are the same people who point out that there are African children dying of starvation when you can't finish your food. Why can't we just have nice things.
The difference between the FF franchise and the Transformers franchise is that FF stuck to what it did well. FF is the combination nice cars, hot girls, and rap music without taking itself too seriously. Transformers however has this weird ego that comes with Michael Bay movies where it takes itself too seriously and forgot it's specialty which is shiny cars that turned into bad ass robots. Instead, it has become a patriotic "let's vaguely save the world with 3 guys" kind of film. If I were to pose an analogy then at a party, Expendables is the reserved veteran who has killed people, FF is the quiet guy you know will hurt you if you mess with him, and Transformers is the douche who is yelling for people to fight him. Real manliness is within the first two films.
I also say that the Fast and Furious franchise has more testosterone though because if we say that the Expendables is the manliest testosterone filled movie, then we are simplifying men and their many facets. Testosterone is also sex drive and DAMMMMN is Furious 7 sexy. From the women, to the music, to the cars, to the explosions... Everything was catered to the male audience. It was a beautiful masterpiece that Michael Bay movies can't compare to.
This movie had it all:
- Ridiculous muscle humour that Dwayne Johnson brings into the Franchise
- A hot hacker who is not Ludacris
- Bumpin' music
- Ridiculous stunts (they jump between 2 buildings.. In a car... By driving it)
- Manly sentiments
- Weird Vin Diesel angles that make him look kind of like a potato head
♚ Cindy
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